THE FACT: Ajax the ram is dead.
ADDITIONAL FACT: It took 3 of us to heave his body into the ATV's wagon to haul him off.
INTERESTING FACT: This marks the first time we've ever been able to move him without him fighting us back. (Even with the stiffness of rigormortis, we still reflexively expected him to kick us off.)
HIS RANK: Ajax was the Alpha Ram. We have carnage to prove it.
THE PROOF: Several smashed gates and injured rams.
WHY: He was a specimen in size and strength (not to mention attitude.)
MODERN COMPARISON: I imagine that when the other rams looked at him it was much like what Rocky Balboa felt when he first saw his Russian opponent.
WHAT ROCKY THOUGHT WHEN HE SAW THE RUSSIAN: HOLY CRAP!!
OTHER NAMES FOR AJAX: The pirate
WHY: He wore a black patch over his eyes. This gave him peripheral vision only.
WHY HE WORE IT: Due to his aggressive nature he routinely beat up other rams, in one case breaking a smaller rams leg. The eye patch helped even the playing field. Like making the stronger opponent fight with one arm tied behind his back.
HOW DID WE GET THE PATCH ON HIM: With much sweat and tears.
THE PHYSICAL RESULT ON US: One of us got covered in black and blues. One of us threw our back out. Both of us got covered in sweat and manure.
WHAT THE WASHING MACHINE THOUGHT: Why do you always have so much manure on your clothes?
WHAT THE KIDS CALLED AJAX: Meanie.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RAM WITH THE BUSTED LEG: He got moved over into the ewe side of the barn.
HIS RESPONSE TO HIS NEW LIVING QUARTERS: Hello Ladies! Wink, Wink.
THE EWES RESPONSE: Buzz off, this is not your lucky day.
THE RAMS ASSESSMENT: Ewes are not mean like rams. They do not fight all day.
WHAT THE RAM LEARNED: When ewes say they are not in the mood they mean it. They can be ugly if you don't listen.
WHEN DO RAMS GET LUCKY: When the ewes are in estrus.
WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN: Not often enough from the rams perspective.
WHAT THE RAM SAID TO AJAX REGARDING HIS NEW LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Nah Ne, Nah Ne, Nah Nah.
WHAT AJAX SAID BACK: I'll huff and puff and blow this gate down. Then we'll see who's the boss man.
DID THE EWES GO IN ESTRUS: Yes.
WERE THE RAMS HAPPY: Yes!
WHO WASN'T HAPPY: Ajax.
WHY EVER NOT: He was not going to be used for breeding this round, So he was kept separate.
WHAT WAS HIS RESPONSE: He huffed and puffed and smashed the steel cattle gate to smithereens.
WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE AFTERWARDS: Like Rocky Balboa after he fought the Russian.
WHAT DID THE GATE LOOK LIKE: Dangling metal wind chimes.
IS SHEEP FARMING IN VERMONT PROFITABLE: No
ALTERNATIVE BUSINESS: Sell Vermont made wind chimes.
POSSIBLE NAME OF PRODUCT: Ajaxian wind chimes.
THE CONCLUSION TO THE DEATH OF AJAX
THE HUSBAND THOUGHT: He was 7 years old. It was his time to go.
THE WIFE THOUGHT: I'm going to end up back in Physical therapy from lifting him one last time.
THE KIDS THOUGHT: Good riddance--he was mean.
WHAT A VERMONT POTHEAD WOULD THINK: It's okay man, all sheep go to heaven.
WHAT THE WIFE IMAGINES: Ajax waiting in line at the gate to sheep heaven.
WHAT THE WIFE KNOWS: Ajax would never wait in any line. Ajax would not be deterred by any kind of gate.
WIFE'S FINAL THOUGHT: Sheep heaven with its very first set of Ajaxian wind chimes.
Friday, March 16, 2012
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